Troubled thoughts

      I can't help but think that living with out a purpose is the same as being dead. And with this being the base of most my thoughts, i can't help but feel . .well. . dead. Day to day i do the same thing, learning stuff it seems i already knew some how, all to get good grades. Well those grades are supposed to help me out in life right? But whats the point of getting a good job that pays well, if it has no ultimate purpose? Some might say for the money, status, women(men), power, pleasure. Now this is the part that screws me up. I could careless about that stuff. its all for personal gain. What does that accomplish? The way i see it, me ego is big enough. And its i'm sure all that power would corrupt me.
      Every day, i set things aside instead of doing something progressive. I want to do something, but why is it that i don't? When one wants to run faster, why must they train? Why can't they just do it? Its like its right there, but i just sit and let it pass by. And life doesn't seem to be passing out as many opportunities any more. Besides i'm sick of the ones it gives. One must make opportunities in order to get what they need done.
      Well. . . i'm sick of being dead. I'm tired of letting life fly by me. And i'm tired of people living life just because they can.    If you are living with out a purpose, then your the same as being dead. . . .I want every one to remember that.

I will show that I don't live because I can. I will amount to something. and neither hell nor high water will stand before me. I have a mission. and it will be carried out, or i will happily die trying. For that gives me a reason to exisit. a reason to live. and being human and all, what more would i want then to live? So when your older. .(late 20's early 30's hopfully) Look for me. For my cobble stone trail is being built as we speak to my golden castle. And you will see why humans have life, why we are here.

OH OH OH! also, remember, untill that day(and even on and after that day). . .




Keep smiling ^_^
-Ted B.

Yet again. . .

Friends

I wonder why i have the friends that i do. They are all so different from me, so why do they stick around me? after all i'm as exciting as an 80 yr man in winter.

HaHa, but it doesn't matter, im just glad they are around ^_^

Keep smiling
-yada yada yada. . .

A brithday fit for a Whore

  Wow,

lastnight i went to Joel's pre birthday bonfire. it was soo much fun! the old people were great, most of my friends were there, and Joel said he had a blast. it was really cool.

    Also the night was sooo pretty and the bonfire with nature seemed to make every one smile. then (like the show offs we are) Zach and I did some birthday hobbit song/dances for the birthday whore and his family. it was quite i night. i feel asleep so easly when i got home.

   Then this morning at the bowling ally, we had a small party for him because the people there couldn't make it to hooters. it was a blast.

Well im exaughsted.
Keep smiling(wish you were there)
Ted B.

Xanga

 It makes me chuckle. . .


i used to write in here to let you guys know whats going on. but no one ever reads these. and i guess i knew that. i just eventually started adapting this thing as my own journal to write in. but now that i look back in on it, i don't mention anytihng of importants. seems like the things i like to keep from people i also keep form myself.

how confusing.
Keep on the smiling
Ted B.